Ode to Ham Blues

My big brother, the Game Master, attended church with Unca and Girl Cousin. I didn't go...Nana and Aunty forgot that I need a CAR SEAT in order to ride in a car.

Hello!

Instead, I taught Aunty a lesson.

A lesson about ham and my deep abiding love for it.

Oh Ham!

How I love you

Oh ham!

How I love you

because you're tasty

yes, you're tasty

Oh ham, how I love you!

your salty goodness

your salty goodness

makes me smile

all the day

Oh ham!

take my blues away




You see what I am holding? It's ham. I adore it. I love it. I would marry it if I could. While I hold other foods at arms length with disdain, ham I embrace. Ahhh, ham.



The only problem with ham is that I cannot stop myself from eating it. MUST EAT HAM!

*The ham song was written by my cousin J and his rockin' blues guitar.

Cows Stink

So, here we are at Unca and Aunty's house. Yes, I know I spelled "uncle" wrong. It's just the way I do things.

Unca is a pretty cool dude. He takes me for walks. He tickles me. He teaches me funny words such as, "Great Googly Moogly".

I have no idea what that means, but everyone laughs when I say it, so I repeated that phrase 1,534,307 times this evening.

Anyway, I wanted to see the cows, so Unca and I went down to the front feeder. The cows were there ready for dinner. I asked if cows bite. Unca assured me they do not. Still...they were larger than I remember them being. I watched them and they watched me.



One thing I noted is that they are smelly. Really stinky, foul beasts. Big, stinky, smelly, foul beasts. They do not mooo when you ask them to. I just thought you should know that.



I watched as Unca very stupidly bravely stuck his hand inside the fence. I just knew he'd pull out a bloody stump of an arm after that vicious cow got done with him. Much to my amazement the cow didn't bite his arm off! I was super surprised.



Today was a chilly day and there had already been so much excitement that when Aunty said it was time to come in to make dinner, I was more than ready.

One of the things I like about Auntys house is that she lets everyone help with dinner. Here I am washing a tomato. I like tomatoes. I like them A LOT. When Aunty asked me to stir the salad, I kept sneaking the sliced tomatoes out of the bowl. Which was great, until Aunty caught me.



It's been a long day. I'm tucked in my cot and dreaming of Mommy....and stinky cows....and Christmas....

Good night.

The Way Things Are

Greetings

I know, I know, I know, it's been far too long since I've posted. Soldier Mommy is still in that big, hot sandbox. I miss her, but it won't be too many more months before she comes home. Hurray

In other news, I am sorry to report that my new daddy is really just a big bozo. He's not really a daddy, because daddies don't get girlfriends when their wife is far away serving her country. There are all sorts of other things I could say about my pretend daddy, but I won't. After all, I'm a little confused about the whole thing. Plus, Auntie says I shouldn't say bad words (but she's been wrong before).

For now, I'm staying at my Nana's. She's the bomb. She is the best Nana ever. No one has a Nana like my Nana.

The cool thing is, I'll be heading North in a few days to stay at Aunty's house. She has the huge box of Legos and she plays with me. Plus, it's Christmas time which I know means cookies.

Maybe if I'm really good, Auntie will let me make some cookies.

So, watch for new posts, because I'm heading your way.

Update

Greetings all!

It has been a long time. A very long time. I haven't run away or been snatched by flying monkeys. However, Soldier Mommy married the General a few months ago. It is great having a dad. He is teaching me many, many good things and I am crazy about him.

The Game Master and I are currently here with Dad while Soldier Mommy is preparing to leave for parts hot and sandy.

Pray for her.

Pray for us too!

Nine months is a long time to be away from ones mommy and I will miss her bunches. I'm lucky to have Dad and my two brothers to keep me company.

Life is good.