Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ode to Ham Blues

My big brother, the Game Master, attended church with Unca and Girl Cousin. I didn't go...Nana and Aunty forgot that I need a CAR SEAT in order to ride in a car.


Instead, I taught Aunty a lesson.

A lesson about ham and my deep abiding love for it.

Oh Ham!

How I love you

Oh ham!

How I love you

because you're tasty

yes, you're tasty

Oh ham, how I love you!

your salty goodness

your salty goodness

makes me smile

all the day

Oh ham!

take my blues away

You see what I am holding? It's ham. I adore it. I love it. I would marry it if I could. While I hold other foods at arms length with disdain, ham I embrace. Ahhh, ham.

The only problem with ham is that I cannot stop myself from eating it. MUST EAT HAM!

*The ham song was written by my cousin J and his rockin' blues guitar.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Cows Stink

So, here we are at Unca and Aunty's house. Yes, I know I spelled "uncle" wrong. It's just the way I do things.

Unca is a pretty cool dude. He takes me for walks. He tickles me. He teaches me funny words such as, "Great Googly Moogly".

I have no idea what that means, but everyone laughs when I say it, so I repeated that phrase 1,534,307 times this evening.

Anyway, I wanted to see the cows, so Unca and I went down to the front feeder. The cows were there ready for dinner. I asked if cows bite. Unca assured me they do not. Still...they were larger than I remember them being. I watched them and they watched me.

One thing I noted is that they are smelly. Really stinky, foul beasts. Big, stinky, smelly, foul beasts. They do not mooo when you ask them to. I just thought you should know that.

I watched as Unca very stupidly bravely stuck his hand inside the fence. I just knew he'd pull out a bloody stump of an arm after that vicious cow got done with him. Much to my amazement the cow didn't bite his arm off! I was super surprised.

Today was a chilly day and there had already been so much excitement that when Aunty said it was time to come in to make dinner, I was more than ready.

One of the things I like about Auntys house is that she lets everyone help with dinner. Here I am washing a tomato. I like tomatoes. I like them A LOT. When Aunty asked me to stir the salad, I kept sneaking the sliced tomatoes out of the bowl. Which was great, until Aunty caught me.

It's been a long day. I'm tucked in my cot and dreaming of Mommy....and stinky cows....and Christmas....

Good night.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Way Things Are


I know, I know, I know, it's been far too long since I've posted. Soldier Mommy is still in that big, hot sandbox. I miss her, but it won't be too many more months before she comes home. Hurray

In other news, I am sorry to report that my new daddy is really just a big bozo. He's not really a daddy, because daddies don't get girlfriends when their wife is far away serving her country. There are all sorts of other things I could say about my pretend daddy, but I won't. After all, I'm a little confused about the whole thing. Plus, Auntie says I shouldn't say bad words (but she's been wrong before).

For now, I'm staying at my Nana's. She's the bomb. She is the best Nana ever. No one has a Nana like my Nana.

The cool thing is, I'll be heading North in a few days to stay at Aunty's house. She has the huge box of Legos and she plays with me. Plus, it's Christmas time which I know means cookies.

Maybe if I'm really good, Auntie will let me make some cookies.

So, watch for new posts, because I'm heading your way.